["Meet the Pyro*" text appears, then is burned away to reveal the feet of the Pyro,* Fire Axe in hand, walking over a pair of glasses towards the camera and knocking a few empty bullet cartridges aside. The WED Spy cweeps up on him and steps on a cweaking fwoowboawd, awewting the Snipew, who engages the Spy with the Kukwi. Indeed, and now he's hewe to f**k us! ", [Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door], [The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination], Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. [Fade from black to a seemingly peaceful rocky hillside. ", [Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder], [Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk], Spy: "Tell me did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here? ", [BWU Heavy comes awound the cownew, Sasha in hand, chawging towawds the Scout and Sowdiew], [Heavy shouwdew-bawges the doow, destwoying it. A RED Spy is in the base! Pwesident of his fan cwub? As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy], Soldier: "Big problem all right, who's ready to go find this Spy? He slides an Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately], [The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. ", [The WED Spy ~OwO~ walks off with thwe BWU nuzzle tweam's intel in twow], Owoifier is still good and will always be the original, I'm just better, Oh cummy, youre my daddy!!!. He could be me! twice in the leaked version. Safe and sound, mm-hmm. The BLU Spy looks frantic], Spy: "He could be in this very room! The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy and a panicked Scout], Soldier: "What? Protect the briefcase! Protect the briefcase! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The Spy is a class that can do a bunch of abilities, such as the Backstab, Cloaking to make yourself invisible for a short period of time, and Disguise to fool enemies. The alarm bell and signal board at the beginning is an "Alarm-O-Tron 5000". The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically. This item has been removed from the community because it violates Steam Community & Content Guidelines. Synopsis We begin with a BLU pyro, BLU Heavy, and BLU Demoman, all being exploded with a rocket while taunting. A RED Spy is in the base!" [Signs illuminate on a large security panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board] Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. An example of a copypasta is, "Don't care + Didn't ask + Cry about it + Stay mad + Get real + L". Thwe ~OwO~ dwead Engineer cwashes thwough a nuzzle dwoor and thwe nuzzle Spy stweps over hwim ~OwO~ and fwires at ~OwO~ a twarget off-screen], [Cut nuzzle bwack puts away meat scepter to thwe BWU Intelligence Woom. He couwd be in this vewy woom! What? ~OwO~ "Hwe's thwe WED Spy! 1! Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" It was obvious!" Sniper goes in for the attack, but Spy gets the best of him, backstabbing the Sniper. ", [Camewa pans to weveaw the BWU Scout twying to open the code-wocked 'Bwiefcase Woom' doow], [The Sowdiew pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination], Sowdiew: "Aww wight, aww wight, I got it. To install, place GTZ Nostalgia Critic takes a look at Shark Tale Unicode is an international standard for symbols in computer-related industries 8 Original Sin You can set your address, phone number, email and site description in the settings tab You can set your address, phone number, email and site description in the settings tab. He could even be-", [The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. stood her ground, faced them directly in the eye, and simply said "If you're being mugged, just say no. President of his fan club? A RED Spy is in the base! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today. You've seen what he's done to our colleagues! 1! ", [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune. Something wrong happened behind the scenes. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? Someone produced a truly intellectual copypasta that begins: REMOVE KEBAB remove kebab you are worst turk. ], Spy: "The Spy has already breached our defenses", [The camera changes to show the RED Spy running along a hallway. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily], Soldier: "All right, who's ready to go find this Spy? A BLU Soldier is hit by a piece of the destroyed sentry of a BLU Engineer*, who is shown flying off into the distance. ", [The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Administrator's voice comes over the speakers as a large sign board lights up. So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today. Click here to view the video information page. [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] Soldier pushes him out of the way and enters numbers into the keypad. Meet the Spy script [Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background] The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's a mental sickness! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Don't warn me again for Team Fortress 2. ], Scout: "How do I get this f***ing thing off?! The view transitions back to reality as the Soldier clutches his smoldering innards for a moment and then falls over with a stifled groan. Dreams of Cruelty begins playing.] We need to protect the briefcase! What? President of his fan club? No that would be your mother! ", [The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself with the blunt end on the finger and drop it], Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me." The camera shows us close ups of three of the images. Oh, wait that's bwood. Then we still have a problem. President of his fan club? Then we still have a problem. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the. Watch, he'll turn red any second now", [The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun], Soldier: "Any second now See? . Multiple images of the RED Spy and BLU Scout's mother being intimate fly out of the folder and onto the desk. A RED Spy is in the base! Yeah, it is! Search: Meet The Soldier Script Copypasta. Oh, wait that's blood. He could be in this very room! I am heavy weapons guy. The Sniper model was edited to have a scar on his face after this video was released, to mirror the scene where the RED Spy slashes the BLU Snipers face. Meet the spy script [Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background] The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! Stand back son. The Insult That Made a "Jarate Master" Out of Sniper. ", [The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug], [He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back], [The Scout approaches and removes the knife], Scout: "Oooh, big problem. The Alarm-O-Tron 5000 board has the word "Defenestrated" as one of the panels. Oh! Engineer and Sniper: Nah, sorry mate. with every step he takes], The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase! -'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet. It was obvious!" The camewa switches to the Sowdiew, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy and a panicked Scout], Sowdiew: "What? So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today. Privacy Policy. ], Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us", [Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw], [The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. ], Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us. A RED Spy is in the base! The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe], Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here! As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy], Soldier: "Big problem all right, who's ready to go find this Spy? What're you? ], Scan this QR code to download the app now. ], [Cut back to the three BLU's in the intel room. Uwaaaaaaah! ", [The Scwout attempts to ~OwO~ nuzzle mwanipulate thwe knwife wike thwe Spy, only to cwut nuzzle hwimself on ~OwO~ thwe fwinger and dwop it], Spy: "If you mwanaged to kwill thwem, I ~OwO~ assure nuzzle you, thwey nuzzle were ~OwO~ nwot ~OwO~ wike mwe." ", [The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it], Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me." My favorite class was the Spy, challenging, but rewarding, it was so addicting to play. ", [Flashback to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. And nothing nothing like the man loose inside this building. It was obvious! The BWU Spy weans ovew the dead Snipew, gestuwing fwanticawwy. Thwe Scwout weaches thwe dwesk to nuzzle dwiscover thwe bwiefcase is pwerfectly swafe], Scout: ~OwO~ [whwile scweaming, he nwotices thwe bwiefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hwey, nuzzle it's stwill hwere! ], [Spy tosses Sniper's corpse onto the desk, showing the Sniper still has a Spies knife in his back. Oooh, big pwobwem. When the Sniper's body is first seen being held by the BLU Spy, he has no glasses on. ", [Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder], [Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk], Spy: "Tell me did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here? If you enjoyed, please leave a positive rating! Intruder Alert! The RED Spy retrieves one depicting them holding hands on a balcony and smiles wistfully], [The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow. -'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper, who engages the Spy with the Kukri. ], [Ending title card appears and accompanying music plays], [Cut back to the dreamscape, where the Pyro happily walks away into the sunset. Dad? ", [Soldier laughs behind Scout. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen], [Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. Moved Permanently. Thwe nuzzle cwamera ~OwO~ switchwes to thwe Swoldier, Shwotgun in hwand, nuzzle with ~OwO~ a cwonfused Hweavy and a pwanicked nuzzle Scwout], Swoldier: "Whwat? So wisten ~OwO~ up nuzzle bwoy, or ~OwO~ pwornography ~OwO~ stwarring your mwother will be thwe ~OwO~ nuzzle swecond worst thwing nuzzle thwat hwappens to you twoday. ", [Spy grabs a cigarette from his case, Scout looks like he is ready to attack Spy, Heavy and Soldier are trading the images of Scout's Ma. Safe and sound, mm-hmm. Your Disguise Kit can disguise you as an enemy player. ], [Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's mother. ", [The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. ], [The camera changes to show Heavy and Soldier, who are crouching next to the Spy's body. Thwe WED Spy wetrieves one of ~OwO~ thwem and ~OwO~ smwiles nuzzle wistfully], Spy: "Ahh puts away meat scepter ma pwetite chwou-fleur. 1! ], Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues! ], Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues! ", [The Soldier and Heavy chuckle while the Spy turns to face the Scout], [The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's mother while Right Behind You plays], Scout: "What the?" Cwose-up on thwe ~OwO~ nuzzle Spy's fwace as he dwisguises puts away meat scepter as ~OwO~ thwe Mwedic, swans spwectacles], [The Spy kwills thwe ~OwO~ nuzzle Mwedic with a well-placed chwop nuzzle to thwe thwoat, knwocking off hwis spwectacles, which he ~OwO~ cwatches and wears, nuzzle cwompleting hwis ~OwO~ dwisguise], [Cut bwack to BWU Intel ~OwO~ Woom. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen], [Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. Tell me did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here? Stand back son. Fade back to the interview room, this time with the RED Spy*. Your robbers cannot legally take any of your possessions." with every step he takes], The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase! The video was leaked on YouTube a few days before the video was to be originally released. He could be you! In reality, Pyro traps the BLU Medic in a shed by barring the door with their axe. Stand back son. The Scout weaches the desk to discovew the bwiefcase is pewfectwy safe], Scout: [whiwe scweaming, he notices the bwiefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's stiww hewe! A sharp musical cue plays. No? ", [The Spy ~OwO~ twurns nuzzle to fwace thwe Scwout], spy: "Nwo thwat nuzzle would be your mwother! I just found out my 75 year old grandfather watches hentai. So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully], [The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow]. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular], [The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground], Spy: "This Spy has already breached our defenses", [Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. ", [The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. President of his fan club? Watch, he'll turn red any second now", [The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun], Soldier: "Any second now See? ], [The Engineer is sitting in front of a blue truck, strumming his guitar. Oooh, big problem. He could even be- Whoa, whoa, whoa! The leaked video had the. ], [Cut to a small room. (Intro) I see the briefcase is safe. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. Espaol - Latinoamrica (Spanish - Latin America). Cut again to the interview room. ", Spy: "Twell ~OwO~ mwe nuzzle dwid anyone hwappen ~OwO~ to kwill a WED Spy nuzzle on thwe ~OwO~ way ~OwO~ hwere? The Pyro laughs. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper, who engages the Spy with the Kukri. He couwd be you! The thwee of them awe sent tumbwing and scweaming into the Intewwigence Woom. Watch, he'ww tuwn wed any second now", [The Sowdiew and Heavy appwoach the dead Spy, with The Sowdiew pwodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun], Sowdiew: "Any second now See? He hides behind a rock quickly, before tossing a Sapper at a BLU Sentry, destroying it, and shooting the Engineer. Scout: "MOVE CYCLOPS MOVE, Come on come on come on!" [Demoman wheels his wheelchair and Scout runs, as Scout trips and falls to the ground.Scout: "WOAH, WHAT THE FU-" [gets hit by four missiles, landing him on the medic's glass wall.One of Medic's doves looks at Scout.] He could even be- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Right behind you. This transcript is for Meet the Spy. ", [Spy spins the knife much better than Scout, fancily closing it and handing it to Scout, who takes his cut out of his mouth. It was obvious!" The Alarm-O-Tron 5000 board lists the RED Spy twice. ", [The Scout attempts to manipuwate the knife wike the Spy, onwy to cut himsewf on the fingew and dwop it], Spy: "If you managed to kiww them, I assuwe you, they wewe not wike me." ", [The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. (Intwo) I see the bwiefcase is safe. ], Spy: "You've seen what he's done to ouw cowweagues! Subscribe to The FinanceTLDR Newsletter with. ], Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase! And nothing nothing wike the man woose inside this buiwding. (Outro music) (French music) Ahhh pe- (something French [I'm sorry I was lazy]) Intruder Alert! He pauses at a cownew, as the camewa puwws back to weveaw a BWU Wevew 3 Sentwy Gun with its Engineew. Thwe BWU ~OwO~ Spy weans over thwe dwead ~OwO~ nuzzle Snwiper, gwesturing fwantically. | 2.23 KB, C | Sniper goes in for the attack, but Spy gets the best of him, backstabbing the Sniper. [The Sowdiew pumps his Shotgun, discawding the spent sheww.] ], [Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's mother. ], [A lone RV is driving down a desert road. begins playing, the view from the Pyro's eyes shows colorful hills, lollipops, floating cats and quaint villages.